eMoTiOnAl

There was a day when I held back something I really wanted to say because I was scared that I would sound stupid and that my friends would make fun of me. It was one day, then it was two and then three and four, until I could no longer keep track of the fact that I buried my opinions and just nodded to what the others shared.

Most of the time it felt like it was a one time thing because after the moment had passed, I would tell myself to be tough and really flipping say what I wanted to say, sadly it never happened.

I've read a lot of quotes on putting up with bad energy and cutting people down, turns out it is just not something I am really good at because I always end up thinking about if is necessary and how much life would be better if I kept them. Mostly also I don't want to have an awkward social confrontation when I run into that person one day and we'd apparently 'cut each other off", that would be really uncomfortable that's why its not my thing.

I hate doing it because I feel like I can just talk it out with someone and see what is wrong...

Look, I'm just going to end this post right here because I am really annoyed right now. I had to do the 'cutting off' thing and when I do that I go all out, do whatever is necessary to get rid of the person and that's never a good thing to do. It;s stupid to just throw away all the memories you had as friends and just forget each other.

How could you ask me to do that?

Well, I did and I don't want to feel bad for doing it when there was really even nothing going on in this friendship. Goodbye dear friend.

This really is a messed up post, mind me, my emotions are all over the place.

P.S This better than a blank page, I promise!

sad hearts, Queen

#blogging #hearts #friendship #sad #bye