Final Word (Racism in Namibia)

I've written two separate posts on this topic, both of them under the opinions of different people. This time around I wanted to write about how I see it, where I think we stand and how we can try and change the scars left behind by apartheid. Before anything, I would like to share my personal interactions with white Namibians to give you an idea of how it is for many people out there. Of course this is not true for everyone so bear that in mind.

When I was younger, I would get excited when I saw white Namibians because we never really interacted with them. In my eyes, and most of my peers, they were the epitome of beautiful and rich. The ideal humans that walked on the surface of Earth. Looking back at it now, I guess these ideas were installed into my head because my mom worked for white people (they had money), they had white skin (people in my family always treated those with lighter skin like they were better so it was only 'normal' for me to praise white skin) and just the way they acted around us made it feel like we were less than them.

I remember when we would go to a mall or something, they would be treated differently than the rest of us. At this point I was eight or nine and I had no idea about apartheid or about my people being oppressed. To add it up, we hardly saw any black films so the more we watched white films, the more we wanted to become like them. If somebody acted a certain way, we would joke and say that they were being 'white' or that they had 'white blood'. If you wanted to be a better person, you always looked up to the white folks because... they were white.

There was a point where I was okay with this way of thinking, with this way of living. I was okay with my mom working for the white people, taking care of their families and earning peanuts. I was okay with some of my cousins dropping out of school and eventually being the white person's servant because that seemed like the most normal thing to do. Where else would a young black drop-out find a better life?

As I got older, I started realizing what a life we had been living. I started questioning why I always acted like a servant on duty every time I came across a white person in town, whether they were older or younger than me. I started wanting a good life for myself and my family too, not because it was a 'white thing' to do, but because I felt that we deserved that after all that we had been through. To this day, I pray that some of my family members will now get out of the shells and realize that they can still be anything they want to be, the apartheid regime is long over but it really messed with some people's lives and I think I understand why.

Today it's completely different, I know about human rights and I know that one can have a better life if they choose to. I also know that I don't have to bow down to a white person when I see them in town because of the color of their skin and I think some of them know that those days are long over now.

My Biology teacher in grade 12 was white but we eventually forgot about that because he was the most down to earth white person most of us had ever come across. He joked about being black on the inside and the fact that he actually spend over twenty years of his life teaching in Katutura said a lot about him. He was really intelligent and not once did he make any of us feel like we were less than him because of the color of our skin, in fact, he told us to embrace our pure black skin and white teeth (haha). He is still an awesome person, always young at heart. Shout out to you Mr Wesy!

During my last year of high school too when I was working at the hotel, I became friends with one of my colleagues. She was in her mid-20's I think. We spoke about music and bands. We spoke about apartheid and the time before the 2000's. We spoke about anything and everything, she even taught me how to be a better person and how to make a poker face because she said I smiled too much and someday, somebody would take advantage of that.

Finally, I met Aunt Iselin in 2016 (before I met the two mentioned above!). At that time I was staying at the orphanage and we were all surprised that a white person was actually spending time with us and being the normal human being that she was. She was different, she did not have that weird vibe around her that some white people I met at the mall had or something. She was always willing to help and do whatever she had to, to be with us. Sometime ago when we were talking, I told her that I didn't have any white friends on Instagram before I came to Norway and she was like, Hey, you had me!", that's how much I forgot that she was white or black or anything at all. That has been the case with all my friends at the folk high school too.

Coming back to Namibia, my one wish is that black and white Namibians will come together and heal together. Heal together as in sit down together and talk about how we feel about each other, talk about how the past still plays a role in our interactions with one another. We keep saying 'One Namibia, One Nation', but how is that a real thing if a certain race or tribe is excluded?

I long to see the children that are growing up now to think differently than I did and most of them already do because they live next to white people or sit in the same class with white people. I long to see us greet one another and not give those stares that leaves you questioning yourself like, 'oh you think you are better than me?'.

It will take a while to get there, but I'm very optimistic about the future and I know that there are more people that feel this way. We can do this and build an even better and richer Namibia because together we are strong. About tribalism, well, that's a different topic on its own!

hearts, Queen

#namibia #racism #future #onelove