Growing Up In Katutura (2)

with my mom moving around a lot, I got to live in the worst areas in Katutura and sometimes the okay ones. The one thing that never changed was that we were still renting somebody's shack in their yard. At some point my mom saved up enough money and we could afford to build our shack, in somebody else's yard. That's how it is back there, if you can't afford a place of your own, you rent for as long as you can, maybe even all your life if you don't make a difference.

I grew up around people that drank tombo and would sit at those shebeens 24/7, praying that they didn't close. I guess at some point in my life I accepted that that's how life was for us that were in the informal settlements, that we were subjected to such pitiful luxuries that slowly killed us and kept drawing us into the circle of poverty. My hope was those people that made it out of there, those people that stood on the other side and showed me that life was much bigger and better than having fancy food from the city dumpsite or celebrating when somebody gave me a N$1.00.

It's a bit complicated how stuff like this works. You have a 17 year old girl dealing with emotional problems, spiritual problems, sometimes psychological and societal problems as well as sexual problems in some instances. She's growing up and realising what a world she is living in. She's able to tell that people that live on the other side of town are privileged compared to those that live on her side, she also learns that she has to work hard if she wants to make it to the other side but that does not automatically mean that that will be her life focus, that is not just possible.

The thing is that even though I had all that stuff on my hands, all those thoughts about changing life for my loved ones, I also had a life to live; the now. I had friends I spoke to, I had a boyfriend at some point, I sometimes cared about keeping up with the latest trends, I cried when my school work got too tough and I made decisions that also I would hate myself for in the long-run. Pretend like this paragraph does not exist. I don't know what the point is.

Before this sounds like a complain letter about my life, I just want to round it up and say a few words that I've wanted to say for a long time. Words I'm sure that you have heard before and words that might bore you. My one true wish is that the way I say it might help somebody like it helped me and trigger something inside of you.

If you ask me, I was just one lucky and blessed child who got an opportunity of a lifetime. Never in my wildest dreams did I see myself here but I had an idea of where I wanted to be. Here's what's up, don't give up. Don't try too hard either because things that are meant to be for you, will come to you and be with you. No matter how hard others may want to keep it away from you, God will protect what's yours for you. I pray that you shine and that all your dreams come true. Also remember that although it might be very hard now, tomorrow might just be your day and then boom, all you've known will be nothing but a tale that you will proudly tell to those who wish to listen.

A few things have changed for me but the work still has to be done and I am ready for that. I have grown as a person and at this point in time, my soul is at ease. This is the best version of me and I hope to share that brightness with you too so that when your day comes, you won't hesitate to share your light too.

God bless you

hearts, Queen.

#namibia #christianity #dreams #plans #love #blogging #friendship