Growing Up In Katutura (1)

From small beginnings come great things- Unknown.

There I was, helping my mom and sister carry out our belongings from the shack we had been renting for about a month and a half. That place didn't feel like home, it just felt like one of those stops we had before finally moving to another place and like magic, the next one would suddenly feel like a home or just wouldn't. That's how it worked.

We had moved into a one bedroom shack about a month ago. Me, Janet and my mom. It was the cheapest place we could afford and even though it was a few kilometers away from both our schools, my mom just had to take it since we had just moved out from another place. The thing is that I was used to moving from one shack to the next, one location to the next and yet I was never prepared for when we had to move, I hated it but I knew that it had to be done.

Sometimes I envied those who had stable homes where they had been staying all their lives, those who could visit their grandparents any time or those who had not moved once in their lives before. The reason for this horrible emotion was that I was tired of renting a shack behind people's houses, I was tired of hearing people including some family members, disrespect my mom because they saw that she had nothing to her name and was really struggling to just help us get by. I wonder how some people are able to rejoice at other people struggles, are you okay?

I remember when my mom would bring home left over bread and some other foods from work. Eventually she didn't even work for Boers anymore, just anybody that would be able to pay enough so that we could afford rent, that was the goal every month. Buying food hardly crossed our minds and if it did, it would be a 2kg rice and tomato sauce from Woermannbrock. If we had a bit extra cash, we would add some vegetables and chicken to the list. The weirdest part is that we were not even complaining, no. We knew that it was our current situation, that it would take a while before things really changed and we just had to be very patient.

Some nights my little sister and I cried together because we knew that my mom was stressing over rent money but didn't want to worry us. I had to focus on school and think about how I could help my mom. If the food situation got worst, we'd head over to my dad and even though he didn't have much himself, he would give us the stuff that he had collected at food dumpsites or food that he had kept for months and we'd take that and walk to the other side of Katutura.

I guess at that point in my life I didn't care about who saw me walking alongside the road carrying a big sack or what I had on or anything. My only real focus was to get home and be with my mom and sister, see them happy. Sometimes we'd visit my big sister and her boyfriend and they would give us rice, sugar and some flour in plastic bags and we'd take those home. Use them as sparingly as we could.

Writing this made me emotional because I had to think back to what life was, how it still is for many of us and how we all dream to just have the basic necessities.

My mom only allowed us to brush our teeth in the mornings because if we brushed them at nigh too, we'd run out of toothpaste and we couldn't afford that. My little sister and I would ask sanitary pads from my big sister and use them as sparingly as we could, wish was not really healthy. Smile, once we ran didn't have shoe polish for half a year and throughout this period we shined our shoes with old socks in the morning(or borrowed from friends when we got the chance).

During my last year of high school I got a job at a hotel where my dad had been working for years, I will forever be grateful for that opportunity. I earned N$100 a day which was usually only Saturdays and/or Sundays when I skipped church or when I really needed the money. I started saving as much as I could until eventually I helped us with toiletries, some small household items and a little contribution to rent. The smile on my mom's face each time I put forward the little that I had, reminded me of how hard I still had to work so that eventually my mom would not have to lift a finger.

There's still so much I want to say but it's getting a bit late now so I will continue this post tomorrow.

Remember, your past makes you stronger and better. Makes you understand where you come from and where you are headed to. This post is for those of us that never had it easy but are dreaming for a better life, still striving and this is just the beginning!

hearts, Queen

#namibia #struggles #africa #blessed #family