The Wrong Surname

This happened last year, exactly on the 8th of April 2019. I had been working at a hotel towards the end of my senior year at high school but I thought why not try another job? After I got back from Cape Town where I had been applying for my study visa, I decided to start looking for a job.

There was really not much to do at home so it just felt right to find something to do and hopefully get some money in to help at home. I had prepared all my documents the week before and told my mom that I was ready for my first job search.I wasn't expecting the day to go perfectly because come on, I was just a 19 year old girl, fresh out of high school with very little working experience but I was prepared to give it a try and learn from whatever came from it.

My head kept spiraling with thoughts as I got to Wernhill( a mall in Windhoek), I had been thinking about this day for the last couple of days. The day that I, 19 year old Queen, would walk into some store asking for the manager and asking for a job. It sounded crazy to me, but that was my new reality. Some part of me still could not believe that I was really growing up and had to start doing some things on my own. My mom and dad had helped me where they could, now I had to fend for myself.

I walked into one clothing store first, my heart beating fast like I had been running for a thousand meters. I walked over to the counter and asked if I could speak to their manager, they showed me the door and I walked in that direction. Unlike usual, I had my shoulders straight and my chin up, I had to be confident.

The manager was a pretty young lady who smiled at me and said a couple of words that would've really sounded bad if she wasn't wearing that smile. I thanked her for her time and walked out, I just couldn't let the blues get to me yet.

Next I headed to Dis-Chem, a pharmacy, I really had nothing to lose so I was just trying my luck. What could possibly go wrong? Dis-Chem was a no-no too and so I went on, still walking around with full energy and a bright smile. I reminded myself that it was just the first time each time they said no and so I went to the next and the next.

Around 11am I got to Mr Price Sports, I had a gut feeling about the place so I told myself, "go break a leg!".

As with the other stores, I asked to speak to the Manager and I found her right next to me. She asked whether I was a student and I explained to her my situation, why I had dropped out and why I needed a job. The Manager seemed to be liking me, it was going well. She asked where I lived and I told her even though that wasn't really necessary.

Within a few minutes her tone had changed and it got worse when she said, “Your surname. It’s not that I have a problem with your tribe, I’m also one of you. The only problem is that you people don’t want to work and I don’t want to risk…”

She went on about how these other two Damara girls who worked with her were lazy and how they skipped the job sometimes. She even went on to say that she did not want to hire students because they hardly had time and would eventually drop out, even after I told her that I was not a student.

What hurt me more is that even though I tried explaining to her why I would be different and why I really needed the job; she closed my CV and told me that she was very sorry. When I tried to defend myself, she told me that she was scared of the words I used and that I wasn’t listening to her or anything. She said I talked too much and that she didn't have the time to deal with my attitude.

I looked straight into her eyes and thanked her for her time, if anything, that was the least I could do. I didn’t want to stand there and argue with someone that had turned a blind eye on who I was as a person. She told me all that stuff, knowing that her fellow workers were listening to our conversation. I had a time of it and that's why I fixed my ponytail and walked out. Not looking back at all.

She had basically discriminated me because of my surname, because of my tribe and that was not fair. I might not know a lot, but I know that wasn't right. To make it worst, she called two girls from another tribe and told them that I wanted to work there, a Damara, looking for a job? She made me feel so inferior, that moment was horrible. I'm glad it's only a memory now.

I felt like crying my eyes out but I couldn't cry in public; that's not what tough girls do. I walked to the public toilets and stood in front of the mirror, I was disappointed. Very disappointed. I would've understood if she didn't want to hire me because I was inexperienced or a student(which I wasn't), but she said she couldn't take me in because of my surname? Really?

I used to hear stories like that from other people saying they got turned down because of their surnames and what tribe they were, I just never imagined that happening to me. It made me realize that things hit different when it hits home. That we have to stand up for one another even if its not happening to you because one day it just might.

Another thing I learned(I was already aware of this but had to experience it first-hand) was that some people have to work extra hard to be taken seriously while for some people all it takes is your surname or skin color to get you a job, sounds crazy right?

It sucks and we don't want to talk about it but guess what? It's true, it's happening. Or that Manager just had a rough morning and had to blow some steam off and I happened to bet there at the wrong time. I do not mean to badmouth anyone, let my story speak for itself. The world would be such a better place if we did not judge each other based on our skin color, race, tribe, sexuality or at first glance. You and I have to stick together and build us up, that's the way forward.

What kind of human finds joy in looking down on the next? We gonna fix that. We have to.

P.S TAKEN FROM MY DIARY

hearts, Queen.

#blogging #namibia